Many things had happened today. I suspect today is one of those days that some might label as terrible, tiring, brutal or something something. I am so exhausted, and when I read my facebook, I found out that I am not the only one having a rather challenging Friday, if not a rather challenging week.
It is when things just couldn't get any better that I would wonder what is the reason behind all this? Why? Why me? Why this? Why here, why now?
Something about me being not right? Am I just broken?
Remember we always mention Karma?
What goes up must come down, they said.
Sweetness bear sweetness, bitterness bear bitterness.....
So the justification of me having this now must be because I had been bad in one way or another yeah?
However, when I scrutinize my anger and disappointment of what had happened I realized something crucial about the so called negative emotion. It is just it, born from the differentiation ability of our mind.
That is when I realized that in justice versus injustice, there is just no logic.
There is just a simple choice of how one had chosen to view the situation at hand. My dear ks echoed and said that could probably be the only choice we have as human and mortal beings.
By the situation, I mean the situation of my mind set.
Yeah I am upset. Then, realized ...... this is how upset felt like. Then, this mind pattern had led to such emotional patterns. Mental formation is just that, mental formations. Noticing how some mental patterns bore downward spiral of emotions while some is like total euphoric in nature....
That is when one could make a choice what to think, from the choice of flavor from our mood reflected from our mindset.
Note there is still a mindset differentiating state of mindsets here. At the end, anything is fine, I can cry my heart out and faint or bleed till death in heart if I wish to. The universe would just let me, I have complete freedom in this.
So, I have an answer to my question, some days, this fact seems far, as the mental formations stick harder, it is like trying hard to climb our from a sticky muddy pool. Some times, it seems easier, so easy, it just took a flip of heart beat, and I am over it.
There is just no perfection of things, there is just a perfection in knowing and recognizing, there is no perfection. Period. Hence. Everything is perfection. As is. If I know it by anything else, it is time to look through the mental formation currently sticking onto me as my current state of mind. It would be the current state of reality that I happened to be living in.
It is just like how the coming super cute Kathina t shirt tag line : WORK IN PROGRESS. Sorry for any inconveniences caused.
Absolutely love that apology line. I could even just wear it as my theme some of the days when I just felt like a grouchy bear growling at everybody.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr................................ LOL................................
The week is over dear everybody.
We might still need to face things come Monday. We might still need to work it through the week. Still, life is life, and there is only one reason not to smile : when one decides one couldn't/should't/wouldn't smile. Anyway, who makes it a rule saying that one must smile after all? I can choose to mop and cry all weekend can I? Why not? If it makes me happy. LOL....
Have a great weekend of your choice everyone.
If I can't remember who loves me, I at least could notice that I am still breathing, and that it all that matters, I guess, as I am not sure what is real and permanently true anymore. Wait, that line itself seems true now. Haha.
Miss you ks, wherever you are.
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